Meet Avix. She’s AI.

Mr William Hanna and Mr Joseph Barbera. I commend you both. Readers, we all know who these gentlemen are right? No? Hmm. Well does THE JETSONS mean anything to you? Yes? Oh good. I hope so. Accolades all round for these men who epitomised the future, as we will all know it in fifty to one hundred years’ time, with their cartoon creation screened on televisions across the world from 1962 until the 1990s. Flying cars, robot maids, video calls, and microwaves that serve us five course dinners: DON’T LAUGH; it’s all going to happen. We have the video calls down pat with FaceTime and Skype, right? And the robots in Bicentennial Man, iRobot, Automata and Chappie, were all built by someone, right? Which means that a future where our hairdresser is made from titanium, our butcher is Edward Scissorhand’s mechanical/digital ascendant, and our postman is distantly related to the tin man in the Wizard of Oz, is all very real.

Robotics experts in Japan have built lifelike robots that look like humans wearing clothing. They walk and they talk and they smile. They have skin that looks like mine and yours and it feels like mine and yours. They have whole heads of hair that will be the envy of every girl (and guy) who wears hair extensions. I haven’t been to Japan but google it if you don’t believe me. With the economy flourishing in some industries and flailing in others, these industries that are suffering need not worry because they will be replaced with a whole new world of occupations that don’t even exist yet thanks to a future guaranteed to revolve around our metal friends. And if we think it’s hard to find a job now, just wait until we reach the time when humans will be discriminated against for not being as efficient in the workplace as robots will be. Unfairly dismissed? It’s because you’re human. Sent home early? It’s because you’re human. Overlooked for that internal promotion? It’s because you’re human. We are a dying breed, just like the dinosaurs. And a race far more superior awaits our great grandchildren.

Flying cars. We have planes right now, don’t we? When car manufacturers become obsolete, which is currently happening in Australia, there isn’t anything stopping Etihad, United Arab Emirates, or Singapore Airlines as examples, from building 5-seater domestic planes and selling them to the mass market. Consumers, you and I, would go to our local dealership and we would buy these little flyers for roughly the same amount of money that modern motor vehicles cost. We would fly them home and they will be our new “cars”. But they’ll be called flyers instead. And no, I’m not talking about brochures or pamphlets. I’m talking about family-sized round metal vehicles that float above the ground and zoom through traffic at the touch of a touchscreen. Thanks William and Joseph. Our radio hosts will not only be heard, but they will also be seen – thanks William and Joseph – prompting our radio hosts to be as healthy and fit as our movie stars and recording artists lest their physical appearances are scrutinised by the media and by websites such as TMZ.

Archaeologists in the UK recently found the skeleton belonging to King Richard III in England under a car park; that’ll be our iphones, ipads, and ipods in 100 years’ time. They’ll be dug up by archaeologists in tips and displayed in museums all around the world. And our robot friends will be sitting in their cliques laughing at how small-brained a species we were to have developed such novel, short-living devices for our small-minded enjoyment. We will not be able to compete with 1000000000000000000000x GB hard drives. Sadly. Not unless we meet our interplanetary, telepathic neighbours and start breeding with them. Then, we might stand a chance. Who has the phone number for Mars? No, I’m not talking about the chocolate bar!

Need I remind you that scientists are not far from growing organs and limbs in laboratories from single cells, proving that there isn’t anything stopping Samsung, LG or Panasonic from building microwaves that house the technology to zap whole meals into our kitchens in one hundred years’ time? Once again, thanks goes to Mr William Hanna and Mr Joseph Barbera, because their mental inceptions are not just archaic CGI – they’re a thing of reality. Eggs benedict anyone?


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